I Am A Tool

I've prayed Lord, let me be your hands and feet. Lord, let your heart be my heart. Take hold of my mind... consume me.

And, where does He place me? At a school (why not? everyone knows God's heart for children) and at one the most pivotal places in a child's life... middle school - that last chance moment in life where its okay to mess up, because after this year every moment will have a lasting impact on where you will go and what your future may hold.   

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I am unashamed of the fact that I am a tool.

My purpose is to be used by God. I would not be called to do something God did not already put a passion in my heart for or at least significantly equip me to do and do extraordinary well.  Why? Because God is in the business of pulling people toward Him (check out the book "Radical" by David Platt) not pushing people away.  He's not going to call you to something and not prepare you...God will NOT play Himself.

Once you wrap your head around that fact that you are a tool... in living out your calling you will begin to realize that you are living out your purpose daily and the satisfaction, self-worth, and intimacy you will feel with Jesus the moment you recognize this will blow your mind. It will be why it is so easy for you to make extreme sacrifices, go many sleepless nights, and walk to work every day with a HUGE smile on your face and joy in your heart, because you are doing the work of GOD!

Now, that is extremely/overwhelmingly exciting to me! No words can describe how that makes me feel, I just want to jump up and down or run around dancing/singing... eek! :)

The Introduction

Hi my name is Cari, or as I am more affectionately known by the 200 plus eyes that stare at me every day, Ms. B. I am a middle school teacher and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE my job.   Because of that statement I am sure many of you are thinking well she must work at a private school or in a really nice suburb where teachers are valued and students are motivated. The truth is quite the opposite.  My school is in utter chaos and I am required to take on job duties that I am sure would not be in the job description that I should have been given at the interview I did not have before I was hired.

You see my school is like many under-resourced schools in America where the parents work so hard to provide for their children's basic needs, that they don't have enough time to fight the political system that has corrupted the education system and instead are forced to swallow a giant force fed pill called "trust".  After all, it seems that's what America is best at saying... "trust us, our ever changing, post-racial, no child left behind decisions are always right." (smh) My school is a place where those who care taught (notice the use of past-tense) because the slightest whisper of change or disapproval is quickly muzzled.  Fear and power are tools used without regard and ignorance of all levels is welcomed with balloons, flowers, and maybe even a giant chocolate (or vanilla if you prefer) cake.

Hopefully you haven't already developed a disposition to where this blog is going, because I am not writing to complain, attack, or accuse anyone for the issues that have permeated our country for entirely too many years...that's another conversation for another day.

However, I am here to share my story.  I want to highlight the daily struggles and joys I face as I study, experiment, fail, and succeed at teaching while using the best example I know of - Jesus.

To further explain my purpose in this blog - -
I am a first year teacher
I did not go to school to become a teacher
I never wanted to become a teacher growing up or through college
I chose this career in obedience to a call from God
I had 6 weeks of training before beginning this school year
I continue to train by studying the Word of God

My BIG Goal = to be a missionary (my mission) the classroom (my purpose) to exemplify the love of Jesus Christ every day of their lives